Tuesday, January 1, 2008

a new day has come

well well well, it's the first of the year and after three weeks i'm finally posting on the new guy blog. i only got four hours of sleep last night so i'll make this short and sweet. below are the 10 things i've learned since starting at schipul:

the dairy ashford exit sign exists... kinda: just look for the big black preferred bank building and you're golden.

never miss your exit on i-10: or you'll be making 40-minute u-turns. i had two of these on my first two days of work.

don't get sick on the day before your first day of work: unless you want to be the new guy who goes home early on their first day. i went home on my second, so i'm good.

the ez tag is almost a life saver: it really only saves me 5 minutes and 50 cents a day.

lock or die: vote what? vote who? just lock your computer or die. this goes for you, too, paris hilton. you don't want another sidekick incident, do you?

the 24 hour system lies to you: a good night's sleep, getting ready for work, commuting to work, the actual work part of work, commuting from work and washing up after work -- after all of this, all you really have is 3 hours to yourself... and that's not counting regular errands and cleaning up that you may have to do. three hours aren't even enough to sit down and watch a third of the lord of the rings trilogy... the extended version, anyway. the theatrical version simply will not do.

when you hear random laughter coming from different directions, you better check your inbox. quickly: or you’ll miss out on the inter-office jokes.

coffee and alcohol are the foods of the gods: or the people at schipul, anyway. mess this up and you might as well turn in your two-weeks notice now. (twinning's irish breakfast tea for kerry)

who needs legs when you have a phone line: instead of walking a yard or two to talk to somebody, dial their extension and talk to them on the phone. very good if you like to wear cute but painful shoes. better yet, shoot them an e-mail.

being the new guy isn’t so bad: ...unless i’m doing it wrong. I really only clean up, do the grocery shopping and whatever else ed needs me to do. anyway, ed is the only person who’ll ever call you “new guy” (other than rob). just remember that long after you’re no longer the new guy, ed is still going to be the old guy... with the billowy wizard shirt.

end transmission.


singaporegrrl said...

Good one! Number 8 is my personal favourite. But then, I'm biased.


Eloy said...

You're such a new guy ... new guy.

Jer said...

I think everyone is still known for something they did while they were the new guy. For example, Rob will always be known as the guy who split his pants and then had to wear Glen's. Me? I think I breezed through relatively unscathed. I only saw the veins pop out of Ed's forehead once.